♥ 晖色空间

♥ HER Status

"If there's one thing that makes you sad,
there will be another thing that will make you happy. "

♥ Thursday, February 18, 2010

i just wanted to write

hellos readers!

its been a long time since i last posted? I always wanted to update about the happenings in my daily life, but i seems to be too tired or it's too late when i reach home everyday after my work .. Sometimes i wish that my brain was a computer so i can just think about it and i can just update my blog anytime &anywhere .. Ain't that very convenient? But it's kind of impossible, unless i get a phone that can suft the net .. hahahs ..

I've been going out with friends on my off days, wanted to post but too lazy to do so ;X
So just a brief typing of the events (as much as i can rmb, if i forget, remind me! ;P )
. Went out with Carmen, Joyce, Zhi Jie, Daniel, Mengkiat, Wenxun &Samuel to celebrate Samuel's birthday
. Went out with Carmen &Joyce cause tio pangseh by the others who was suppose to come. Slack at Compass point &Suntec the whole day doing nothing
. Watched 'The Wolfman' with Carmen, Joyce, Daphne, Si Lin, Zhi Jie &Daniel . Sixian joined us after her JC lessons. Went to pool with Zhijie &met Hongkai, Kianbin, Donald and Max . Played two rounds, felt my skills sucked like hell . Though i really like playing pool but i wonder should i continue playing ..

Ohya, on several occasions, i actually coincidentally met katherine cause both of us are on the way to work &going to take MRT .. Only one time i met her on the way home which was her last day of work .. So good! Talked with her alot on the MRT, knew more about her through the chat .. I can only say katherine &gina are both the same, they are shy when they meet strangers .. You can only see their 'true self' when you're close enough with them .. They're really a good friend (:

Hmm, knew alot friends through work, age ranging from 16 to 50 years old .. Lols, but the closer ones are guys cause the girls i dont have much time to spend with them &most are not of my age..
I feel like naming them out ..
Guys - Azman, Nizam, Dayson, Warren, Weihong, Zac, Shun, Shawn, Victor, Kenneth, JB, Farhan
Girls - Charotte, Candice, Judy, Layting, Ada, Lyn, Shidah, Camille, Norin, Elaine, Josephine

These are the collegues i knew, they are really good to me! ^^
I feel kind of more mature facing a totally brand new world with having my family or my best friends beside me cause i wont have them to rely on in my world of working .. Though you know that you're alone but you know soon you wont be .. Because new friends will be standing by you soon ..
&it makes me feels good to have a world that they dont really know much .
Because they also have a world that i dont know much ..
The more we go out, the more i feel that they are closer to each other than im to them ..
They seems to have endless topics to talk about which doesnt involves me.
I seriously feel that they have something that they dont want me to know, maybe it's my illusion or it's not serious. But it feels terrible.
I know the excuses they will tell me when they see this but there's always a choice.
Hence, i chose not to probe or trying to know what's happening in their lifes ..
I know that when poly starts it will worsen, the distance between us will gradually increase .. Just like what happened that year, when i missed the person so much yet to know that im the least important to the person know ..
It really made me lose faith in 'BFF' ..
I dont want to see the person there in poly, i dont want to see the most familiar stranger walking pass by me yet not realising it was me .. I hope i'll never have to see you in there cause i really really dont want to recall how you made me lose faith ..

I felt like deleting the above after finish typing it, but my heart tells me i should just post it because this was the reason why i created a blog - to let people know what im thinking &make myself face the fact .. Humans, dont ask me any questions about the above, i wont answer .. I didnt know how i can type and type and type from happy event to things as such ..

Forget it, another day of work tomorrow .. Hope just no more ridiculous or annoying customers tomorrow .. I still have to be metally prepared for my poly life where people are telling me how tough it will be having to study law . Even before the school starts, i start to fear for the worse .
I hope i can cope with the stress .
Someone out there, please bless me .
I'm afraid i might just collapse anytime, anywhere .
can i believe in 'tomorrow will be better' ?

P.S. at 12.24am, sometime after i posted, i then realised that both of them have the same blogskin.
Is this fate or what?

11:25 PM